Disclaimer: I wasn't in last week so I was unaware regarding the instructional/poem assignment, I had this idea previously but now it looks like I took it from that. I promise I didn't haha :,)
Performance Art; Sacrifices
Instructions, transformations, and destruction:
Releasing the Silence for Mental Health
https://youtu.be/CzPu9hLjmGA?si=0MIXY-05Ip0D87y7
I was inspired by Yoko Ono’s work, with some of her performance art depicting herself quiet and still. On the other hand, her written work is instructional and commanding. Similarly to Ono’s haiku instructions, I have instructions for myself AND for the viewer which focus on our associations with words, perspective, and mental health. I use symbols to depict these matters. Trauma can be generational, singular or repeated. We carry the weight of the world in our hearts daily, whether it be within our own lives or thinking about issues halfway across the world. The stressors we hold can frustrate us and worsen leading to deteriorating mental health.
Mental health isn't always as stigmatized anymore for most but there's still a long way to go. People struggle in silence due to fear and shame regarding their internalized issues. Many of these issues are either repressed until blowing up, or can cause serious trauma if not taken seriously. Seeking help takes time and energy, but should be encouraged. The shame around mental health, therapy, and mental illness should be diminished in order to truly help people. To seek help, sometimes we need to take a moment to step back, think about ourselves and sit with our feelings.
For the written part of the instructions, I was going to go for more of a poetic structure but for the instructions to be printed out I wanted it to be on one page so no one has to flip to the next, as they might see it as too much and walk away. I tried to make it more accessible for engagement. I chose to wear all black as an aesthetic of a black blank canvas, no sleeves on my arms so people could feel free to write there as per the instructions. During the process, some people were open and comfortable. Some people apologized and asked me questions, to which I nonverbally attempted to reply. One person thanked me and said it's nice that I'm doing this, that mental health is important. Two brought over friends as well. One person misunderstood the instructions regarding the change but that's okay, as it is focused on the release of a negative thought and the vulnerability of shading that with another person. Some people even just wrote their original sentence and sacrificed that. Many people walked by and I got a couple weird looks.
“If you want your students to remember the lesson, and to integrate it into their lives, they need to puzzle through it, process it, and make it their own.” (Duncombe, Lambert, 90)
The Art of Activism, Your All-Purpose Guide to Making the Impossible Possible
The activist part of this artwork brings recognition to an issue (the shame regarding topics of struggle, trauma, and mental health) and allows safespace to evaluate the topic and be open. It's okay to experience the awkwardness of sharing a moment. I feel I remember awkwardness and intimate moments more clearly than other experiences of mine. With this, maybe this moment can allow people to process something that's been on their mind for a while they haven't told anyone. I attempted to give the viewer a voice and a chance to recollect their thoughts and traumas for a moment, to be vulnerable enough to sacrifice these thoughts and share them with me to burn. I see burning as not only destruction but also a transformative energy. Many people choose to burn photographs to get over an ex partner. With this example, traumas cannot be let go of that easily especially if it impacts your mental health. It's meant to be symbolic of release as a first step AFTER acknowledging what the trauma is, how you can perceive it, and thinking of how these feelings settle. To place it from your heart, to your hand, into the heart shaped box with the mirror creates a moment of stillness with these feelings.
My extended part of the performance won't be seen to the audience but I serve as a vessel. I was also thinking about Marina Abramović’s work and The Artist Is Present, as her presence is a stillness, a contemplative silence with nonverbal communication and human vulnerability of staring into another person's eyes. Her inspiration led me to involve my own body as part of the work and being present, a visual display of silence but also a canvas for words if people chose to write a lot onto my skin. I stripped myself of my words in order to give them a moment to think about their own. I stand there, mouth covered, unable to ask for help but with my heart box in my hand, the other hand pointing to the instructions. Like mental health, some of us are afraid to ask for help but display signs which are ignored. My nonverbal communication is subtle and I cannot use my words to help myself. The words on the page channel thoughts, the thoughts channel more words and associations, shifting perspective, and a final cohesive word shared on my skin for the rest of the day as their privacy remains.
The paper I used had previously been used/printed on. I wanted to use paper that had already been used to be symbolic of a story; we as people have been used, exploited, tainted. I felt it would fit the theme of something being used/hurt and still being able to be changed or repurposed. If I am attempting to make a project regarding mental health and efforts toward reformation or transformation, it just made sense to me. Even if it'll be burnt at the end, it still went through the process of being changed and eventually used for something potentially positive. I added rose petals to the final sendway box before burning the memories. I've never used a lighter before so I did admittedly burn myself a bit maybe two times trying to light them. For safety purposes, I did unfortunately decide to do the ritual a bit earlier than midnight because I wanted my parents to be awake in case anything bad happened but I still waited until it was dark/the end of day, into night. I live down the block from a crowded bar and only realized night of it might be a bit of a bad idea to start a fire, alone, outside at night when there's people right down the block. I waited until midnight to wash the words from my arm though in order to keep the midnight promise.
For the instructional part, I also included hotlines/warm lines below which focus on suicide prevention, mental health, and crisis cooldowns. Even if nobody calls these numbers, they can at least visually see that they exist and maybe if they are ever in crisis, they will seek those numbers out. Too many of us are unhealed with either no one to talk to or we're afraid to talk to others. Accessibility to therapy in order to heal these traumas or pains is quite difficult, the price point and stages to get to an actual therapist being a bit too much for some. Along with these hurdles and the mental hurdle to accept help, many people are afraid to show vulnerability. Showing the strength to also show vulnerability is just another step.
Bonus unrelated instructions !
(Please don't literally do the first one)
Flesh
Scratch your skin
feel it's uneasiness,
it's red patches,
claw into marks; the scars of human
imperfect
real.
Companion
Pet a pet
a domesticated ball
of fluff
remember it's freedom,
cry.
Sorry
Text somebody
you love
and tell them.
Remember
they may not
always be
on the receiving
end.
Instructions for my Mental Health Piece below
Instructions for audience:
Write down
a trauma, a scar, a hurt;
vague or visual, on body, heart, or mind.
Rip it up. Rearrange the words into
a sentence
a poem
anything
that means something to you.
Take a picture of the final piece. Then crumble
or rip it up further and place
into the heart holder.
Heavy on your heart, to the next.
Take a pen, write
onto my arm a word you feel, that encapsulates
the release or mood of this moment.
I will burn
the scraps at the end, midnight,
signifying a transform and release
of that energy.
Clarifications:
The final word poem does not need to make full linguistic sense, but ideally it should have an energy that changes the original meaning.
I do not need to see the original trauma
I cannot talk. I am the vessel following my own instructions.
Your identity will remain anonymous.
I will not try to rearrange the words to see the original. The transformation IS the important part.
NJ Hope Line (suicide prevention) 855-654-6735
ReachNJ 844-732-2465
NJ Connect for Recovery 855-652-3737
The Peer Recovery Warmline 877-292-5588
National Suicide Hotline 800-273-8255
NJ Mental Health Cares 866-202-HELP (4357)
Crisis Text Line Text HOME to 741741
Instructions For myself:
Stand in an area with foot traffic
Hold out a single pen, reused papers to write on.
Set up a ritual spot at home with fire and a running sink
Cover your mouth. Duct tape, scarf, bandana, anything. Mouth must be covered to symbolize peoples shame in discussing struggles and mental health. Nonverbal communication is okay, but limited and minimal.
(I used a bandana to accommodate the sensory sensation of tape because I think it would freak me out a bit more than I'd like)
Have something as a protector for the words (for this case, the heart box)
(It seems YouTube didn't like my video too much so if it gets nerfed that's why)
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